In my last post, I shared an easy 5 minute morning practice that will help you achieve some relief from the turmoil around you.
Today, I’d suggest you focus during your 5 minute walk on the word FORGIVENESS.
I want you to notice how terrible not forgiving someone feels. I used to think forgiveness was something I needed to do FOR SOMEONE ELSE. To help the person I believed had wronged me. I thought I needed to be forgiving TO BE A GOOD PERSON. So I’d try to repress my negative feelings about something that someone had done that I’d felt was not right.
That never worked. It would only layer on the bad feelings. I’d feel terrible about not being able to forgive them.
IT DIDN’T WORK BECAUSE MY ASSUMPTIONS WERE WRONG. I WAS TRYING TO FORGIVE FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
In fact, not forgiving someone else doesn’t hurt them at all. We’re the ones who get to feel the burning pit in our stomachs, the resentment, the stress caused in our bodies by refusing to let go.
As Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.”
Here’s what I’d suggest. As you walk, first allow the actions of the other person to be what they were. Acknowledge that, no matter how much you don’t want them to have happened, holding onto your resentment now won’t change anything. You can’t make what was done go away.
Allow yourself to feel the hurt. Allow yourself to feel the distress in your body.
When you’ve allowed the feelings for a bit, you might find that they ease a little bit. That’s when you can start breathing in the word forgiveness.
Tell yourself that you’re willing to feel good again. You’re willing to allow yourself to feel at peace with what happened. You’re willing to not give your power away to this other person by holding onto the past.
Allow yourself to contemplate the humanness of the other person. Even if what she did was terrible. Acknowledge that she’s just another person who sometimes loves and sometimes hates, sometimes feels good and sometimes bad, sometimes does her best and sometimes her worst.
You notice that, in these ways, she is like you.
Allow yourself to notice that the past doesn’t exist anymore. It exists only in your imagination. Is this something you want to keep reliving? You decide to release the past from your heart.
Today, allow yourself to forgive. DO THIS FOR YOU. BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOURSELF.